Latest research shows that Brits are happy to have a simple, spontaneous proposal in the comfort of their own home but when given the option to turn back time, less than one in three thought that their proposal was perfect.
Gone are the days of Hollywood-inspired romantic proposals in sunny climes – instead of whisking their partner abroad for a romantic getaway, 68% of males proposed in their home. It’s just as well that women have low expectations with only 15% of women wanting their partner to propose to them whilst on holiday.
Commentating on the results, Harley Street relationship therapist and life coach, Trevor Silvester, says: “I think several things might be going on here: the first is that the recession is probably having an effect on people’s aspirations. In times where money is tight we’ll tend to lower our dreams a little and look to find the romance through some other, cheaper, means. I suspect the money that would have been spent on setting the perfect scene for the proposal is instead going towards the cost of the wedding, the honeymoon, or the means to move in together”
Results have further shown that the excitement of the actual proposal has disappeared with three out of five males (63%) not planning to propose on one knee. Surprisingly the latest statistics show that men and women have similar ideas with only one out of three women (30%) actually wanting their partner to get down on one knee.
Trevor Silvester says: “I am pleased to see that getting down on one knee is losing popularity, because it means fewer people are opting for the obvious and actually doing it in a way that feels right for them. My advice to anyone would be that the location is less important than the timing. Pop the question when the mood is perfect and it’ll become a romantic and unforgettable memory.”
Many women are now taking it upon themselves to pop the question. Statistics show that when British women propose it is impulsive with four out of five women (83%) proposing with less than a month’s planning and over half (53%) of those proposing spontaneously. Whilst they have broken tradition by proposing, three out of four women (75%) hoped that their partner had beaten them to do it.
Silvester says: “It’s great that more women are proposing – and I think the spontaneity of their decision shows that in many cases the emotion of the moment needs be strong enough to overcome the social conditioning that says it’s the man’s job. In my opinion, if we’re looking for partnerships to be equal, why shouldn’t the onus on who asks who be spread equally too? I think many men would love for that to happen. Certainly I would have done.”
Top five places to propose
Places men would choose
1. Spontaneously
2. At the place they first met
3. At an exclusive restaurant
4. After a romantic meal in their own kitchen
5. In a lantern filled garden
Ideal places for women
1. Spontaneously
2. At an exclusive restaurant
3. At the place they first met
4. In a lantern filled garden
5. In a rose petal filled bedroom
Ideal Proposal
What women want
• Their partner should propose
• One month or longer should be spent planning the proposal
• It should occur in December
• It should happen in the evening
• Their partner doesn’t need to go down on one knee
• It should occur at home in the UK
• Without Father’s approval beforehand
What men want
• They would be the one to propose
• They would spend one month or less planning
• They would propose in June
• In the evening
• At a place where they first met
• At home in the UK
• Without partner’s father’s approval
ENDS
About the research
Research carried out an online survey of 1, 490 UK adults aged 18+ from 6th to 30th June 2011. Results have been weighted to nationally representative criteria.
Other findings from the research
East of England: 88% wouldn’t ask for their partner’s permission before they proposed
London: Only 6% of Londoners would propose at the summit of a mountain compared to 30% who’d propose at home and 21% who’d just propose spontaneously. 36% of Londoners would ask for their partner’s father’s permission before they proposed with 67% of people would rather be proposed to spontaneously or at home rather than in a more romantic setting. 67% spent on week or less planning their proposal. Only 16% asked for their partner’s father’s permission before they proposed. 67% asked spontaneously compared to 19% who got down on their knee. Only 32% were happy with how they had been proposed to.
North East: Only 17% thought that their proposal was perfect. 15% would propose down on one knee compared to 36% who would ask spontaneously. 81% wouldn’t ask for their partner’s father’s permission before hand.
Scotland: 91% of people proposed in the UK where they live with their partner. Only 9% asked for partner’s father’s permission beforehand. 74% would propose spontaneously compared to 16% who would get down on one knee. Only 19% would ask for their partner’s father’s permission beforehand.
South East: 82% would propose to their partner in the UK where they live compared to 18% who would propose whilst on holiday. February was popular month for proposals
Only 8% proposed by going down on one knee. 35% of people thought their proposal was perfect.
South West: 97% proposed in the UK where they lived.
Wales: 91% asked spontaneously compared with 9% who went down on one knee when proposing.
West Midlands: 78% would propose in the UK where they live. 34% would propose on one knee compared to 43% who would ask spontaneously. The ideal month to propose in would be December
