Brits in romantic relationship crisis
BRITS IN ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP CRISIS
• 75% of Brits admit to failed long-term relationships
• Still more than one in three would date their ex again even if they had known more about their partner’s personality beforehand
• “It was like we were speaking different languages” say 1 in 5 females after their split
• Harley Street Therapist Trevor Silvester launches new online dating website swoon.co.uk
Three out of four Brits have suffered a romantic break-up, according to research from online dating site swoon.co.uk, which launches today (13th April). Surprisingly, more than a third of those recently separated would still date their ex even if they had known more about their personality beforehand.
When it comes to dating, it seems that having foresight makes little difference to our choice of partner. Across all ages only one out of three (35%) men and two out of five (43%) women say they would definitely not have dated their ex if they had known more about their personality before they got together.
Commenting on the results, Harley Street relationship therapist and life coach, Trevor Silvester, says: “Ultimately, we’re all looking for love, but it’s the romantic thrill of unpredictability that we secretly seek. With many online dating websites focusing on compatibility matching for long-term happiness, it appears they are overlooking the very aspect of a new romance that excites singles the most.
“Online dating may have changed the face of dating making it easier than ever before to find a potential partner, but it hasn’t altered the natural laws of attraction.”
Latest statistics reveal there are over 16 million single people living in the UK* and with more UK singles admitting they are dissatisfied with their lone status than anywhere else in Europe (35%)**, where are we all going wrong?
Silvester says: “In my 20 years experience as a relationship therapist, the reason couples split is rarely that they don’t love each other enough, it’s that they don’t understand and embrace the differences between them.”
Indeed, across all age groups only a third of respondents (37%) said they felt understood by their ex partner, with one in five females saying “It was like we were speaking different languages.” Only 4% of those recently separated said they didn’t feel loved enough by their ex.
“The problems we face with our partners are often caused by differences in the way we think that most people are unaware of. We can often be puzzled, frustrated or driven to madness by the things our partners do, without realising that they’re having the same experience, and that their behaviour is often their attempt to improve the relationship” he adds.
Silvester is the brains behind the new online dating site swoon.co.uk, which aims to help daters right from the very start by explaining the differences between them and how to use these differences to make their relationship work. Through answering a simple set of questions, members will be able to discover their Swoon Appeal, giving other daters an insight into their world and what makes them tick.
ENDS
Notes to editors
References:
*http://www.statistics.gov.uk/StatBase/Product.asp?vlnk=15107&Pos=&ColRank=1&Rank=144
**http://www.responsesource.com/image.php?id=16118
About the research
Opinium Research carried out an online survey of 2,093 UK adults aged 18+ from 23rd to 25th March 2011. Results have been weighted to nationally representative criteria.
Other findings from the research
- Those living in Northern Ireland are the unluckiest in love with 86% aged over 18 having been in a failed romantic relationship, followed by those in the South East (80%) and Yorkshire and Humberside (80%).
- Looking closer at those respondents who said they had a relationship that did not work, over half (51%) of those who had a relationship that did not work said personality differences played some part (personality differences between us were the main reason for the romantic relationship not working out (23%) + personality differences between us were part of the reason for the romantic relationship not working out (28%).
o Females were slightly less likely to say personality differences played some part (48%) than Males (53%).
o Looking at the results by age, those aged 18-34, nearly two-thirds (60%) said personality differences played some part, whilst those aged 35-54 was just over half(55%) and those aged fifty-five and over was just over a third (38%).
- Generally speaking only a third (37%) of those who said they had a dating failure felt their partner understood them or what they wanted from the romantic relationship.
o Just under half of men (44%) felt their partner understood them or what they wanted from the romantic relationship, compared to just under a third of women (32%).
- A third (34%) of those who had a relationship that did not work out said that had they had better knowledge of their partner’s personality they would have started the romantic relationship.
o Over a third of males (38%) said they would have started the relationship if they had better knowledge of a partners personality compared to less than a third of Females (30%).
o Looking at age, those aged 18-34 were highest (40%) in saying they would have started a relationship if they had better knowledge of a partners personality, compared to 30% of those aged 35-54 and 33% of those aged fifty-five and over.
Download a PDF of this article.
